01/10-11/26
I am exhausted. I made a pretty optimistic post about the year 9 days ago. It's about midnight, becoming the 11th as I write this, actually. I just missed Ten Pound Snail's last show, because I am laid up in bed stoned. I feel run ragged, or like I was shot out of a cannon straight into the ground. My whole body hurts. I made two two hour round trips to see friends the past two days. Before that, I met a friend for coffee, hung out with another friend, and just generally had a very emotional day. The day before that, I took my estrogen shot, had therapy, my laptop CPU fried (i am writing this on a loaner laptop from my roommate: thank you bri) and I had band practice. This is not an easy year. Things DO keep piling up. This is a continuation of how things already were. This year will not be special. I still will focus on myself. I still want to be kinder to myself and to focus on my friendships and my band as well. Goddamn, the universe is making it hard on me. I could use a break. Preferably not a laptop break, though! I have to edit my short film on my roommates laptop and I cannot access any of my FL Studio projects to work on music without my band until I get a new laptop and I can get the data off my hard drive. I really need to switch to an external drive for my projects. That is something I am doing as soon as I can. As hard as it is, it is time to rest. My hand is being forced. The weather has been dysmal and frequently so has my mood. Tomorrow I will rest until I Doordash because I am increasingly broke. G'night reader.